Tuesday, February 3, 2009

OMG!!1! Bible Study

So, I've decided to attend the weekly bible study at my church. I don't own a bible (Not totally true, but mine is stored in a book case that is unreachable at the moment) so my BIL lent me his (also not totally true, my sister lent it to me).

Anyhow, we are studying the Book of Esther. It's an interesting story about King Xerxes, who gets mad at his queen because she doesn't want to stand around and look pretty for him at a party. His council says he has to do something about it or else all the wives EVERYWHERE might become disobediant so he replaces her by having, basically, a beauty pageant. Esther wins, after 12 months of beauty grooming, and shhh!, Esther is also an orphan raised by her uncle, and a Jew. Uncle is constantly telling Esther she must keep it a secret that she is a Jew.

Title: ' La Toilette d'Esther'

Painter: Theodore Chasseriau

Year: 1841

Esthers uncle hangs around the palace, pissing off the guards, and Haman, Xerxes Prime Minister. Her uncle pissed off the bad guy because he foiled a nasty plot. The Haman wants to not only kill the uncle, but all Jews. They even pick a date (March 7, in case you were wondering). I think they sent out fliers announcing how they planned on killing all women, children and men that were Jew, and snatching their properties and goods.

OH NOES!!1! Esther iz ah JEW TOO!

So Esther hatches a plan to win favor with Xerxes, and he promises her anything, even half his kingdom! She also reminds him of how her uncle saved his ass, so Xerxes gives him some fancy clothes, a royal horse, and makes Haman parade him around the town, shouting how wonderful he is and favored by Xerxes.

Haman plots with his wife and friends to kill the uncle, by impaling him on a 75 foot pole. Niiiice. Instead, he ends up getting impaled, because Esther reveals to Xerxes about the plot against her uncle and Xerxes. This wins even more favor with Xerxes for Esther, so she gets him to let her uncle write up a kingly decree, saying whatever he wants. The uncle writes up a basic reversal for March 7, and send it out, spreading the word, from India to Ethiopia.

March 7 rolls around, and the Jews kill a bunch of the bad guys buddies, who went through with the original plot against the Jews. The Jews totally kick ass, and have a party all day on the 8th (except one city, who took two days to kick ass, so they partied on the 9th.) This is now the Jewish holiday/celebration called Purnim.

The end.

Anyhow, bible study isn't quite what I was expecting. I was expecting us to sit in a group/groups and read the bible, and discuss it. Apparently, instead, we are sitting in groups, listening and watching some well known bible study writer/speaker and filling in blanks. Perhaps we will have some actuall discussion this week (today). Who knows. At least I get to eat some cookies and Peanut gets to play with some kids other than her cousins.

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